This quote from Ralph Marston really resonates with me today, as I face another day and week of weather not conducive to riding. Here I am with a new baby horse, a set of goals for the year, and all the motivation I need to get started.... and it is 14 degrees and frozen outside. I don't have an indoor, and I won't be putting in one any time so it is time to make adjustments....
Ralph Marston on Making adjustments
+++++++++++++++++++
Success is never achieved in a straight line. Although it's great to carefully put together workable, realistic plans, life doesn't always go according to plan.
Yet even when conditions change quickly and dramatically, success is still possible. To succeed in such a world as this, you must be willing to constantly adapt.
When something fails to go the way you planned, it's not the end of the world. In fact, things could eventually turn out to be even better than you planned.
Regardless of what happens or fails to happen, you can choose to successfully work it into your path forward. Instead of making judgments about what you cannot control, make adjustments in those things you can control.
It might be nice if everything were to play out according to your plan, but the thing is, it won't. There will most certainly be surprises, so you might as well find a way to make positive use of them.
Don't give up on your goals or dreams just because things change. Adapt, make adjustments, and make every turn of events move you forward.
++++++++++++++++++
And then I think of the old adage, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." What can I do with my horses and riding on a day and week like this?
I thought of going out for a hack but the snow balls up in their feet making it treacherous for our safety and their soundness.
I could also trailer out to an indoor somewhere... (and I may do that), but is that worth it?
Shopping. Hello Saddlery Liquidators... oh wait, Marc isn't there on Sundays.
Planning, organizing, dreaming, reading. Yes. Work on Positive Realism.
Yesterday, I had the honor and delight of giving a talk and leading a discussion with a group of Area II Riders at the USEA Area 2 Annual Meeting. It was so energizing and fun to be there with others, sharing ideas, and getting pumped up about our 2014 season.
Especially since none of us were able to ride in the foreseeable future, due to inclement weather....
So today will be a day of self-reflection, making notes, and generating ideas on what I have accomplished, and where I want to go from here, and then mapping out new plans on how to make that happen.
I am going to start with two lists of sorts. One a list of all the positive aspects of my riding, each of my horses, and our partnership. The second will be a list of all the critical or realistic aspects of these three components. From there, I will take these lists and make each aspect into a functional goal.
Then I will get started on goals for each horse. I have FIVE horses to consider so this will take some time...
If you were at our discussion yesterday, you have handouts that detail what such lists look like. I will posts these on my website, www.abequestrian.com as soon as it is up and running. That should be within the next week, if all goes as "planned."
Until then, pat yourself on the back, and kick yourself on the behind! It takes both to make for success!
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Friday, January 10, 2014
Partnership I
How often have you heard the remark, "They have a great partnership. That horse wouldn't do that for anyone but her."
What does this mean?
I don't see myself as an exceptional rider. Not at all. I struggle with position, confidence, focus, and commitment. Often, I believe that my horses would perform far better for someone more skilled than I am. Indeed, I know that this is true in dressage as my trainer has ridden my horses far better than I have.
So consider my surprise (and delight) when a top trainer responded to my statement that I should send Mick to someone so he can go run Rolex (or a CCI***). His comment was, "That horse loves you; he probably wouldn't do this (referring to cross country) for someone else."
I recall this because someone else said the same thing to me last week... someone for whom I have great respect and who does not pass out compliments lightly. Indeed, I'd be flattered if she were to read my blog. :-)
Wow.
This got me to thinking. Is this true? Has this been true of any of my other horses? Maybe there have been a couple in my past but to be honest, I think that Mick and I have a special relationship that I've not experienced with other horses. There is a sense of partnership, trust, and a marriage of sorts that can develop between a horse and rider. That partnership forges through hours of time together, communication, need for one another, trials, challenges, and successes. And it is a relationship that works, much like a human-to-human relationship... but maybe deeper. After all, what sort of trust does it take to actually have one partner carry and one guide the other across large obstacles?
Today, I want to consider what this partnership is. And from there, I will consider what it takes to get there.
Let's break this down... what is this partnership? I think it starts with a horse who bonds with a rider or groom who is there for them on a consistent basis. That horse whinnies when he sees your car, he gets upset when you leave him, he does things for you willingly that he doesn't do for others (such as load on the trailer, pick up his feet, stand quietly for clipping). If left without you, he may develop ulcers, he chases others (dogs, horses, people?) away from you and will stand between you and those others. He reaches out and tries to nip you at times (assuming you aren't one who carries treats around). He is noticeably not pleased when others ride him (as in he pins his ears or gets lazy and sullen), and he may go as far as to try to buck them off.
Most important, when you are riding, you feel a connection where you can think something and you get the sensation that he both hears you and answers you. It is a rather ephemeral sensation that is difficult to describe. It is not as simple as your horse being nervous when you are nervous. It is more of a sensation that there is a conversation occurring without words or motion.
Telepathic? Perhaps. But I am enough of a scientist by training that I hesitate to use that term lightly.
I am guessing that there are many partnerships out there that involve this sort of communication and I am guessing that there are riders for whom this sort of partnership comes more often. It may be part of what makes one rider gifted or have a way with horses... As a child, I recall a trainer who would talk about the sixth sense of horsemanship and how she could see it in some children at an early age.
Can you think of rider-horse partnerships out there that have a special bond? I'd love to hear about them.
Regardless of one's propensity to forge a partnership, accessing this sensation and connection with a horse comes with time and work. I want to address later (1) how one forges this sort of connection and partnership; and (2) the extent to which we can proactively work toward forging this partnership with our horses.
I love comments....
What does this mean?
I don't see myself as an exceptional rider. Not at all. I struggle with position, confidence, focus, and commitment. Often, I believe that my horses would perform far better for someone more skilled than I am. Indeed, I know that this is true in dressage as my trainer has ridden my horses far better than I have.
So consider my surprise (and delight) when a top trainer responded to my statement that I should send Mick to someone so he can go run Rolex (or a CCI***). His comment was, "That horse loves you; he probably wouldn't do this (referring to cross country) for someone else."
I recall this because someone else said the same thing to me last week... someone for whom I have great respect and who does not pass out compliments lightly. Indeed, I'd be flattered if she were to read my blog. :-)
Wow.
This got me to thinking. Is this true? Has this been true of any of my other horses? Maybe there have been a couple in my past but to be honest, I think that Mick and I have a special relationship that I've not experienced with other horses. There is a sense of partnership, trust, and a marriage of sorts that can develop between a horse and rider. That partnership forges through hours of time together, communication, need for one another, trials, challenges, and successes. And it is a relationship that works, much like a human-to-human relationship... but maybe deeper. After all, what sort of trust does it take to actually have one partner carry and one guide the other across large obstacles?
Today, I want to consider what this partnership is. And from there, I will consider what it takes to get there.
Let's break this down... what is this partnership? I think it starts with a horse who bonds with a rider or groom who is there for them on a consistent basis. That horse whinnies when he sees your car, he gets upset when you leave him, he does things for you willingly that he doesn't do for others (such as load on the trailer, pick up his feet, stand quietly for clipping). If left without you, he may develop ulcers, he chases others (dogs, horses, people?) away from you and will stand between you and those others. He reaches out and tries to nip you at times (assuming you aren't one who carries treats around). He is noticeably not pleased when others ride him (as in he pins his ears or gets lazy and sullen), and he may go as far as to try to buck them off.
Most important, when you are riding, you feel a connection where you can think something and you get the sensation that he both hears you and answers you. It is a rather ephemeral sensation that is difficult to describe. It is not as simple as your horse being nervous when you are nervous. It is more of a sensation that there is a conversation occurring without words or motion.
Telepathic? Perhaps. But I am enough of a scientist by training that I hesitate to use that term lightly.
I am guessing that there are many partnerships out there that involve this sort of communication and I am guessing that there are riders for whom this sort of partnership comes more often. It may be part of what makes one rider gifted or have a way with horses... As a child, I recall a trainer who would talk about the sixth sense of horsemanship and how she could see it in some children at an early age.
Can you think of rider-horse partnerships out there that have a special bond? I'd love to hear about them.
Regardless of one's propensity to forge a partnership, accessing this sensation and connection with a horse comes with time and work. I want to address later (1) how one forges this sort of connection and partnership; and (2) the extent to which we can proactively work toward forging this partnership with our horses.
I love comments....
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
The Year of the Horse
Looking back over 2013, it was as remarkable year. I began the year adjusting to a day J.O.B. that created a whirlwind of change in my riding life. I really did not ride seriously until April and then completed, with no jumping penalties, the CCI* with Mick Dreamy at Virginia Horse Trials. That was just a few days after my 57th birthday. Woot!
Nothing really got into focus until after VAHT at which time I put others into work and started with trainer, Mara DePuy. I have learned an amazing amount in our short time together, and have begun to rekindle my own skills, knowledge, and motivation to address the psychological aspect of eventing.
Some may know that I have a Ph.D in Social Psychology and did many years of teaching and research at Michigan State and Virginia Tech from 1985 through 1998. Those were fruitful years that provided me with a professional work ethic that has, I hope, spilled over to my true passion, riding and training.
So I am now coming full circle, indeed. It occurred to me, after Mick and I completed the Plantation CIC** that I need to USE what I already know from the social and personality psychology and I can do this for myself and for others. So over the past three months, my brain has been on full throttle creating ways to improve, enhance, and progress in my riding.
And I want to share that with others.
So this is the Year of the Horse! My first stop will be a training session at the USEA Area II Annual Convention coming up in only a few weeks.
I will use this blog to provide some homework assignments that attendees may want to address before the session.
This is short as I need to put on my running shoes and go for a jog before the sun comes up.
Happy New Year!
Nothing really got into focus until after VAHT at which time I put others into work and started with trainer, Mara DePuy. I have learned an amazing amount in our short time together, and have begun to rekindle my own skills, knowledge, and motivation to address the psychological aspect of eventing.
Some may know that I have a Ph.D in Social Psychology and did many years of teaching and research at Michigan State and Virginia Tech from 1985 through 1998. Those were fruitful years that provided me with a professional work ethic that has, I hope, spilled over to my true passion, riding and training.
So I am now coming full circle, indeed. It occurred to me, after Mick and I completed the Plantation CIC** that I need to USE what I already know from the social and personality psychology and I can do this for myself and for others. So over the past three months, my brain has been on full throttle creating ways to improve, enhance, and progress in my riding.
And I want to share that with others.
So this is the Year of the Horse! My first stop will be a training session at the USEA Area II Annual Convention coming up in only a few weeks.
I will use this blog to provide some homework assignments that attendees may want to address before the session.
This is short as I need to put on my running shoes and go for a jog before the sun comes up.
Happy New Year!
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